Science weekly: Cleaning gene discovered and utilized!
Jul 11th, 2006 by Peter
How to trigger my cleaning gene? I often wondered if this could be done and if so, how?
I’m a slob. I hate tidying and cleaning. I dislike washing dishes and putting things back where they belong. Putting away things that I used seems like a waste of time, even though all logic tells me that it would be wise in the end. I never solved this grand mystery myself. Guess I was too lazy to even bother trying.
What I couldn’t figure out for years, my wife found out in a few months.
I had a hunch that something was wrong last month when some things were placed where I would normally never put them myself. I have some spots which I neurotically keep tidy as they are essential for my daily doings. Suddenly I started finding stuff there that I forgot putting back on the shelf after use. Sacret spots like my precious mouse mat! Then other key spots followed like the chair in front of the computer, doorways and so on. Nothing can interfere with my access to the computer or television so of course I put these things back instantly.
Peter’s dna decrypted: The key to get his fat ass in action is by putting things where they annoy him the most.
My wife took more advantage of her new found ability during our last week of moving apartments. On a day which I already had proclaimed to be a day of relaxing after a good 1½ week of packing/unpacking and so on, she somehow managed to trick me to do actual work (work – the word makes me cringe). Boxes filled with videotapes, DVD’s, books, CD’s and software were unpacked on the floor in the middle of the doorway to the new computer/office room. Catastrophe – yes! But a wife schemed catastrophe. Then followed a: “I think this is too difficult for me to do put away” (which she of course already knew before unpacking them on the floor). I never saw through her sinister plan, and I was sorting and putting things in cupboards again in sheer annoyance. So much for a day to catch my breath. Sigh.
Looking back a clever wife wielding a whip seemed like a good thing during the big move. Now I just need to figure out how to pry the whip away from her again so I can get the pulse down to lazy. I feel so confused and out of sync with my slob gene when I find myself sweating and doing handy stuff with tools.
Oh – C. don’t waste time. She just attacked again when she saw I my defence shields were down and started on a new husband/wife game a few days ago. It’s sort of a “Can we go to Mount Splashmore”-game and it goes like this:
- The wife says: “The rabbit needs a friend”.
The husband reply: “I don’t think so”.
Repeat until “one” of the participants cave in…..