Bring on the Night

1th July 2007 Beijing

Landed in Beijing 35 min after schedule. The passport business was easier than expected, though the laowai line was slower that the one my wife could use. The officer checking out my papers was fast and smiling. I would be smiling too, if I had 5 buttons for the costumers to rate me by. I pressed the maximum number 5 for ‘Great job’. Not sure if I just felt sorry for the guy, or read wrong and thought it said “Rate my rack”. Too much time on the Internet for me I guess.

The luggage was retrieved fast, so we headed for the exit to find the SAS office where we could get our money voucher of 150EURO paid in cash. Many misleading signs and 4 times of asking for directions later we finally found it but only to discover that the office weren’t allowed to pay the cash (as we were told in Copenhagen that they could). These 2 offices need to get their stories straight, but ok, we’ll just get them when we go back to Denmark. Money is money.

Instead I withdrew some cash in an ATM and we hooked up with a cab. C started the Chinese show in the front seat as I sat in the back and understood nothing at all. The driver didn’t know the hotel, but we fixed it with a phonecall. 30 min later we arrived at the 3 stared hotel. Not the best I’ve seen, but certainly not the worst. Actually C did a good job finding it and we’re both pretty happy about it. Friendly staff, but no English speakers, of course. The room is tiny, but covers all our needs. One chair, a table, a bed, a tv, a bathroom with sink and shower. Then there is the extremely slow internet connection and, of course, my arch enemy – the Chinese hotel western toilet. This one was even worse at flushing than the one which brought me so much trouble in Shenzhen. As usual there is not a toilet brush in sight so just cross your fingers.

C asked the hotel staff about it and they insist it’s the same for all rooms. It takes about 3 minutes to finish flushing. Meanwhile it produces a nice little lake and you can almost hear the clown from “It” say: “They all float down here”. If you’re lucky you’re only in need of a number 1. Number 2 can take +3 consistent tries to finish the job. I hate toilets in China, and I haven’t even used one of the “pedal bomb runners” yet.

It had to happen, but so soon? Got my first “hello” as we exited the hotel for the first time. We walked to find some late lunch and found a local Sichuan restaurant. We tried to stay of the hotter stuff, as I was already a little worried about getting nicknamed a Chinese equivalent of “running butt” the first week. We ordered some “la pi” with moderate chilli, some Jaozi and a beer. Very tasty.

Afterwards we went walking while looking at shops. All day long people looked at C’s pants/skirt which is not Chinese style. Either that or because she was with a big hairy armed laowai.

We decided to grab a taxi to what apparently is a famous shopping street (Wang Fu Jing). Bought a few shirts and browsed some shops. We also dropped in on an optometry shop and had an eyesight test for 10rmb each and ended up buying some new glasses. We have needed new ones for some time both of us, so had decided to wait until we were back in China so compare the prices. The glasses cost 906 RMB, which in Denmark would be at least the double. This is compared to discount shops in Denmark, so that’s a cool deal. Furthermore we’ll get the glasses the very next day, which is not normal in Denmark. Here we’d normally have to wait 1-2 weeks.

Hunger was building and we found an underground restaurant market (named Taste Square). Great food, except some stuff made by to-fu that tasted like burned out cigarette butts. According to C this is famous, but she had to agree with my observation about the taste and we didn’t finish that dish. We also had some chicken feet, stick lamb meat and some noodle stuff. These dishes were all great and I believe we finished those ones without any problem.

Then back to grab a taxi back to the hotel. Dropped off and walked down a dark alley. It got darker and darker and scarier and scarier. Even C were worried. Turns out that we walked in the wrong direction. The cab driver dropped us off from another direction than the first one. I’m pretty sure he did a little “Fool the laowai and his out of town Chinese wife for some kuai detour”, which may be why we came from another direction. But who cares, and how will we ever know. The fare was still only 16rmb, so still dirt cheap and won’t kill our budget. Fortunately C found some tiny street shops where we could ask directions. 3rd try and someone finally knew about the hotel. Strange living 500m from a hotel on the same street and not knowing about it?

Back at the hotel without being assaulted. Probably not more dangerous than walking anywhere else, but did feel that way. Finally we could take a well-deserved bath. Ahhh The first since we left Denmark. I’m positive I hadn’t smelled like honey and strawberries most of the day.

At our way back we spotted a barbershop, and after reading Ben’s adventures in a barbershop for the last month, I was curious like hell to try out a hair wash and neck massage. C was in on the deal, and we went to the tiny shop. It only had 2 employees. A man and a woman (think they were married). C. got the man and I drew the woman. Good deal.

After the hair wash and head-/neck massage, we were asked if we wanted a full body massage as well. No offers for naughty stuff if you should wonder. We accepted and had ourselves a 1½ hour massage. The best I’ve ever had, if you look away from the giggling and snickering between the 2 girls about my body hair and body mass. Very nice experience nevertheless. Never tried a massage on my belly, but it really was cool and loosening.

Only one thing about the massage was strange. At one point she crammed her pinky finger what felt like 1 mile down my ears and started cleaning for earwax. I would have sworn it would hurt, but it didn’t. I felt very weird though, but not as weird as 2 mins later when she did something else that felt very uncomfortable. It was like she used a needle gently on my eardrum. I told C to ask her what she was doing and received the answer that she was cleaning/massaging/teasing my ear with a hair. Yucky or old Chinese wisdom? Not quite sure yet, but then I tried that too. 2 x 60rmb for 1½ hour intensive massage. Probably too expensive but compared to Denmark it was dirt cheap.

Back to the hotel refreshed and relaxed. I fell asleep pretty fast and slept excellent all night unlike C who did her best to keep me awake the first 3 hours. She tossed and turned and started eating bread saved from the flight. When she finally could sleep my snoring woke her up, and she started elbowing me to make me stop. That’s married life for you.

Tags: beijing, China, massage, restaurant, shopping