Bring on the Night

Why is this post password protected?:
This entry is password protected, since it contains ranting about a colleague. I know some of my colleagues have this URL too, and I do not want to tempt faith. Rumours run fast, especially if you want them to.

If you read my blog before, you may know that I work in an office. This means 4 people 4, computers, and 4 telephones sit in the same room. The room is ok sized, but you can’t say that it’s huge. 4 people and 4 telephones equals changing noise level.

Some people can shut the world out completely during work. Almost like they just turn off their ears. I’m not some people. I hear E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Every telephone call, every question, every rubberstamping and every paper falling to the ground. You can’t sneak out a tiny non-smelling fart unless I hear it. I don’t have Radar from MASH ears, but I’m over-attentive to all sounds. Sometimes it’s a big help to sense all that’s going on. Other times I think I am cursed. My concentration level can easily be disturbed if some noise annoys me slightly.

At my work, we do have an unwritten policy to keep our voices down, and generally the level is acceptable. We sit 2 and 2 with desks facing each other (yes, I have already scared of one colleague, and no this is not a joke). The downside to this system is, that I sit where the neighbour desk had been empty for a while (lets not dwell on that info too much). In the start it was great, thus leaving me with no challenge in scare off yet another colleague. The last 1½ year, this particular spot was left open for visitors like project workers and people from other branches of our company.

During that time, it has also been regularly inhabited by 4 different persons. 2 lads and 2 “lassies” (the Brits would kill me if they saw one of the women I just called a “las”). The 2 guys and one of the women are/were great. Enough said.

In-between their stay here a woman occupied my field of view. I won’t describe her appearance much, since my English skills are not sufficient. Let’s just say that she was big and colourful.

I will describe her voice though. It was loud. Not loud like cranked-up-portable-radio-loud. It was more like a Boing-747-taking-off-inside-your-head-loud. When she yawned, crystal glass shattered. When she talked, dogs start to howl. When she laughed, bats in the vicinity of ½ mile fell dead from the sky. This description doesn’t even do her justice. She is that terrible.

Now combine that level with my ability to hear everything and my sensitive ears than you’ll understand that it was 6 months of hell.

She knew about her problem and to her defence she tried to keep her voice down. I emphasize ‘tried’. She also told me that I should just gesture politely when I wanted her to lower her voice. Sisyphus work and no matter how hard I tried, 2 minutes later her voice neared 194dB again. So I stopped this practice in fear of gesturing wrongly….erhm. So I went to trying some hinting instead. Sentences like: “Who did you shout with just before?” or “Why are you using the phone, he can still hear you if he just opens the window”. Unfortunately all attempts were like water on a duck.

I struggled for about 6 months, and it got worse and worse. She didn’t speak louder I guess, but my annoyance threshold minimized. 2 of my other colleagues remember the period for me working a lot at home and if I weren’t, then I had to take some long strolls during a workday just to get a break from her. Some days I ended up the day looking feverishly for some work I could bring home for the next day. I just couldn’t face a whole day more of voice terror.

After 6 months she transfered back to her original workplace in another city.

It’s scary. She was/is actually competent in her work (not my style though), but her loud voice makes her unbearable to be around. Why did I “win” her? What did I do in my childhood that deserved such punishment? Anyway, now I am happy that she left but I still see her sometimes. I also get the occasional phone call from her which automatically stuns my ear every time. On the positive side, I have become quick to adjust of the length between my ear and the phones loudspeaker.

I think most of my colleagues are happy to get the voice level down again, but I also fear that by now, one of my colleagues is writing a similar blog entry about me.