Bring on the Night

Do you know where your better part is doing right now? Really? Then you should start worrying.

That’s the first mistake I made today. I didn’t know what the misses was up to. She had a day off from school and I forgot to tell her not to kill anything. It was stupid. Really really bad judgement on my part.

2 days ago I bought a pair of slippers for indoor home use. My old ones were worn out. I finally found some cheap ones which had the wanted anonymous look (read: black with no fancy stuff on them. Just plain boring manly black).

Today I came home and found that my lovely wife did this to them.

Did she do it because I have notoriously cold feet?
Did she do it because it makes them manlier to look at?
Did she do it because I’m a funny fella who likes a flashy look?
Did she do it out of love?

No no no. Nothing that simple. She did it because my new shoes’ rubber bottoms apparently leaves black “skid marks” on the wooden floor. So there you have it: my wife doesn’t care if she just gay’ed up my shoes. Her only worry was the floor.

Yeah, this means exactly what you think dear reader. The new look goes ALL the way around the shoe.

Oh, did I forget to mention that the shoes are now more slippery than a chunk of butter between John Goodman’s boobs? Soon I may paint the floor revolutionary red unwillingly, but at least there will be no skid marks. As long as my wife is happy, I guess its ok.

I pitty the fool who showed her where to find the needle and thread in our apartment. To my excuse it seemed wise back then.

Better start walking the green mile until they die. That’s the only way I can buy some new non-flashy, non-golfer, non-gay looking ones again. Meanwhile I have to figure out where to hide the sewing equipment.

One last picture: The two suckers lined-up for a group hug.

Hoedown anyone?

Tags: china vs denmark, Humour, man vs woman