The shoe god never finished and the men who don’t care
Jun 15th, 2006 by Peter
I hate the summer. Not because it is too hot and I sweat like a fountain. Not because I am prone to sunburns. Not because my bodily stature never shone under the term: “Less is more”. Not because the weather gives me absolutely no excuse for taking the bus instead of my bicycle.
No, I hate summer because it triggers the crazy gene in some men. The gene that makes them hear a voice inside their heads say: “Go on – let the world see your beauties. Yes – do it – let your fat feet hang out and wear your sandals”.
Sandals – it’s not a shoe. It’s a freaking sole with straps!
I don’t mind women wearing sandals, since they actually have some ways to make them stylish. They can even paint their toenails and buy a wide range of different types and end up looking acceptable. Well at least most of them (for example I believe that the law should be altered to protect us from Rosanne Barr ever wearing sandals, but that’s another story).
One thing I never will understand is why some men feel the urge to wear these suckers here in Denmark. I mean, we are pretty far north on the globe. We have “sandal weather” for maximum 3 months. I can understand why some people feel the heat working on their feet, but there must be alternatives to sandals? Personally I have some lighter shoes that I use during the warmer days. If you have sweatty feet, what’s the logic in releasing them into the open air other people breath?
Sandals for men – what the hell were they thinking? Feet may be the most disgusting part of a man’s body, so why invent a “shoe” that flashes them in public? I hate the involuntary shock I get every year when someone flashes his big white hairy feet in a pair of leather strapped soles. Disfigured thick heel skin for all to see. Bulging red toes with yellow nails sticking out. Almost as if they are angry that they have been trapped inside a shoe all winter and just need to show the world how mistreated they have been. I hate it. Keep your “winter secrets” to yourself… please?
You are neither casual nor fashionable because you wear sandals. You have just let yourself go.that’s all.
I am not sure what I hate most. Bare feet or socks in sandals. Socks have one plus though. They hide the crippled feet. Other than that socks in sandals just look plain stupid.
Every time I see a man in sandals it leads my mind back to the 60’s. Free relationships, drugs, long hair, Jimmy Hendrix, Woodstock and.. sandals (and I am not dissing Jimmy, ’cause he’s the man). Get over it. Some things are not meant to last. You don’t see women burning their bras anymore, do you?
I find sandals for men absolutely ridiculous. At first I thought it was only a school teacher/pedagogue thing. Sort of the last death spasm caused by lost youth and too long married life. But now I know better. It seems that man sandals have a fashion comeback once and a while. Some fashion victims even linger on many years after, and I fear that it is more of a movement and not just a soon-to-die thing. The streets are flooding with “fashionable” men flashing their hideous feet in public. It is a mere catastrophe if you resent sandals like me.
Every summer I battle it out with colleagues, relatives and friends. Sandals for men are widely accepted in Denmark, and I guess that all logic tells me that I should accept it and get on with life. But – no – I won’t abandon ship.
One of my colleagues insists that I am crazy and conservative, and maybe he is right. He still find pride in wearing his “camels” to work (office work mind you) just to spite me. Recently he even told me that he bought 7 pairs of brand new sandals because he got a great offer. 7 pairs?!! What would one do with 7 pairs of sandals? I know what I would do, but my parole officer has told me that I can’t carry matches since the incident.
Don’t do it. Don’t buy sandals. The shops and fashion people only try to trick you. Maybe sandals look harmless and comfortable when they stand alone, but that’s just manipulation. Put big filthy crippled man feet inside, and see what happens.
Try ‘Google Pictures’ and search for sandals men. Tell me why there are so few pictures of the two paired if they are so beautiful and stylish? If you don’t believe me, click here.
I rest my case……
Update: A slightly different view on sandals for men
Update 2: Another fashion view on sandals for men
Update 3: This entry, worryingly enough, has same picture I used as scary example, and seems vaguely similar in the intro. My original rant is from 2006, this is from 2007. Lay into that what you want.
Your case is well presented. :) I am totally with you (surprise) on the loathing of this disgusting and degrading habit of some men. It is a lonely crusade and met only by shaking heads, but I fully commit myself to the cause of getting rid of all sandals for men! “Sandals for men”…a contradiction in terms…. ;)
Nooo… Gregers was spotted wearing Sandals.
while i DO agree with all that has been said above, i feel you, peter the article writer (genius work, btw) and you, kojak, have managed to somehow deny the entire audience to whom this article was intended to rebuke – the OTHER side of the story.
you’ve mentioned 3 facts out of a possible 4. shame on you friend.
fact1-MEN have hideous feet. [Mentioned]
fact2-WOMEN have hideous feet. [Mentioned]
fact3-WOMEN have pretty feet. [Mentioned]
fact4-MEN have pretty feet. [NOT-Mentioned]
there is no REASON, for you to hate men’s feet, and commit to this conviction, and STILL consider the possibility that SOME MEN out there, as scarce as they are, have totally stunning feet. you are almost not allowed to ignore that fact. in fact, including such a statement in your article, and believing so in the core of your beliefs adds merit to your crazy conservative ways.
just a thought
mike
excellent writing peter.
@Mike my good man. Thank you for your insightful comment and (what must have been written in a weak moment) your praise for my writing.
I left the “stunning man’s feet bit” out on purpose. I am convinced no one would believe in mythical stuff like that. It rate up there with believing in Martians, the infamous Yeti and last but not least, the evil child punishing individual called Santa (I don’t believe in Christmas either but that’s another story).
However I do, of course, believe in Spiderman being real (saw him on the telly), Tupperware being as evil as Scientology (that’s a proven fact) and myself being a lesser half-god in most regards (that’s what my mirror tells me anyway).
As a democratic guy, who may admit to occasionally (read: rarely) being wrong, I hereby give those mislead readers a chance to prove that such thing as “stunning man’s feet” is real by promising to post pictures confirming their scary claim!
I like to suck men’s big toes.
Great…
Alright fair enough.. what email should i send a picture of my feet to?
(yes i AM implying that i have stunning feet)
Uhm… Somehow I seem to have lost my email adress. Let me get back to you as soon as I find it :-)
A great LOL post. I totally agree. I’d rather die than wear sandals of any form.
Thanks you Stevo. I’ll add you to my list of true believers and thus save your soul on doomsday.
It’s a matter of taste obviously. I agree some men feet are a bit unsightly and ungroomed, some though look better than some women feet, in most case they are just “male feet” not better or worse than a female feet but just different, imho nothing to be ashamed of showing. Also they aren’t usually shown to impress people, but because it’s comfier, they are not “asset” though they might be occasionally appreciated by some people.
I might think that some shoes with shorts can look way more awkward than a good pair of sandals. Imho foot revulsion is not better than foot fetish, one can’t said the other is odd without self criticism. It becomes an absolutism.
It’s natural that a straight man might not like other men feet, that means another straight men is not wearing sandals to impress other men, there’s no need to be disgusted by anything we are not phisically attracted by. I think one wears sandals form themselves, mostly, because of the climate and, well, how they pair with shorts. Ok, women might occasionally appreciate that, but it’s far from being a major factor in the attraction, lol. Seems like it’s mostly men, not wanting to see other men feet…
I’m friendly saying this. I’m not into pot and some hippie philosophy, but I respect open relationships and find them interesting. Excesses ruin it all, as usual.
Hi Antome
I recognize your opinion. Obviously I’m right as always, but I respect your input.
Cheers for visiting.
Peter
What does it mean you’re right as always? I just talked about absolutism, that it’s just a different taste, I don’t want to criticize it, but it means one is not wrong because of wearing sandals, I mean, what if at the opposite it’s stupid for him/her to hide the feet or to not bear the feet sight? Not that I have this view, but being extreme, I might think it’s as right/wrong as yours, just different. Point is people who wear sandals usually respect other (like usually gays respect straight, one can’t say they had it coming, but it’s only an example).
Antome: Did you really accidentally end back here again more than 1 month later? I suspect a disturbing Google search is the cause….
I agree it was not really important, it’s just a matter of opinion. Sometimes I enjoy commenting about light fashion “issues”, but not only that, politics as well. Paradoxically the vision of the male bodies is, “political” as well even, like that of the women is. As it is the idea of how much one bear to see from one gender compared to the opposite, etc.
But hey if that is your suspect, I won’t take my time anymore, it’s clear I’m not welcome, apparently the fact I kindly reply is “disturbing”.
Check the tag and category this entry is filed under Antome. Also this is not a fashion blog, so you may have clicked the wrong search result.
I know it’s not a fashion blog. I’m also not really into it, although to be honest I like style, which is different, a somhow minor way of self expression, like art is. It’s a form of art actually, to some creative aspect, from the sartorial ones to the choices of clothing one makes. While fashion is mostly, in my opinion, about what’s in or out and what shouldn’t be worn.
This post was clearly meant to be funny and leisurely stated a fashion opinion (fashion cause it’s about what’s appropriate from a given point of view). At the point I shared my thought on the matter, maybe taking it too seriously, but not to an excess :).
Well sometimes I also happen to control answer from threads I start on the net, finding this back was accidental. But ok, incident closed.
bye and
Peace i guess…
Your article is ridiculous. Do you wear gloves on your hands in the summer? That’s how ridiculous your statements are. Feet ARE mistreated all winter by being trapped in shoes. They are healthier, and look/feel better when they get oxygen and sunlight just like the rest of our body. Fungus and bacteria thrive in trapped sweaty shoes. Is that what you enjoy? You obviously have some sort of hang-up about your own feet and are embarrassed by them. You shouldn’t be. Just take care of them and stop dwelling on it. By the way, why are you always staring at other men’s feet?
brnfur: Dude look at the catagory the entry is filed under. I’ll leave you a subtle hint. Its: “humor”.
Sorry I hurt your feelings. I’m sure you have pretty feet unlike me and other men. Thanks for popping by.
[…] it just me, or does my rant against sandals for men, somehow have a slight resemblance to this one? It uses that same picture that I refer to in my […]